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In Chuck Palahniuks book, Stranger Than Fiction, he meets Juliette Lewis. Juliette perfoms a personality test on him by asking him a lot of questions. I thought I'd compile these questions into a MEMEMEME, Answer them, and then let all of you answer them as well. You're all tagged.
Do you like asparagus?
I have no idea what asparagus is. I suspect not.
Do you have a middle name?
Yes
Do cats frustrate you as pets or do you admire their independence?
I love cats. They neither have my admiration or my frustration.
Did you ever break a guys nose?
Not knowingly no. It's possible that at some point I did break a guys nose, but I doubt it very much that it ever happened.
Would you say you won more fight than you've lost?
Any fight you ever walk away from is a win. That said, I can't remember the last time I ever had a physical fight, probably the 80's, when I was 15.
Was there a time when you were mystified by the workings of your penis?
I'm still fascinated, but not mystified no. There is no mystery.
Do you look like your mother or your father?
More like my mother.
Did you date an older woman that you'd consider an older woman and what did she teach you?
She was older, but not old enough to be classified as 'older'. What she taught me cannot be published in public.
Whats your first image of the female body?
In my mind, I wonder what their belly buttons look like.
Does the respect factor drop when a woman has breast implants?
Of course. If you have to change what nature gave you to find yourself tolerable, how do you expect anyone else to?
Do you like Roller Coasters?
Yes. I find them very zen.
What do you imagine happens to someone after the body dies?
The body dies. The rest transforms into a different form of energy.
Do you believe that you are a spirit with a body or just a brain?
A spirit inside a brain.
Did the female anatomy every mystify and scare you?
No. I'm not a serial killer.
Have you ever been caught in a natural disaster?
I slept through an earthquake. Does that count?
Did you ever own Birkenstocks?
Fuck no, they're worse than Crocs.
Did you ever fall in love with an animal in a way where you wish you could talk like human friends?
Yes. Like love crosses colours and genders, sometimes it crosses species. But not in that way.
Do you feel we are all potentially Christlike?
I doubt very much that Christ himself was christlike.
Do you have hope for humanity?
Not really no. Most human beings are, in essence, lovely people. Mankind as a whole needs guidance and direction as, at the current moment, it is a directionless mass.
If not, how can you keep going in the face of that hopelessness?
Because the individual is redeemed by their actions
kinda. it makes your pee smell funny though.
Do you have a middle name?
Peter. Me and my brother's all have biblical names. David Andrew, Philip Stephen and (me) Timothy Peter. I don't really get it.
Do cats frustrate you as pets or do you admire their independence?
I worship at the uncaring feet of my beautiful cat.
Did you ever break a guys nose?
Probably - when I used to play rugby
Would you say you won more fight than you've lost?
I don't believe I've ever been in a fist fight. Well, not many. Dance offs? I've lost them all.
Was there a time when you were mystified by the workings of your penis?
By the time I knew what it was for, I was too distracted to care how it worked. It just did, and that was enough.
Do you look like your mother or your father?
Superficially like my dad, but actually a lot more like my mum.
Did you date an older woman that you'd consider an older woman and what did she teach you?
Well, not really - a few months doesn't amount to a whole hill of beans, does it?
Whats your first image of the female body?
Blimey. It's different on every woman. Every woman is beautiful in their own way. Seriously.
Does the respect factor drop when a woman has breast implants?
Not because of the breast implants per se, but perhaps because of the personality that led them to think it was a good idea in the first place. Hell, I might get implants in my eyes, so who am I to talk?
Do you like Roller Coasters?
meh.
What do you imagine happens to someone after the body dies?
nothing. they die. their body becomes meat that rots and spawns other life. Nihilist, perhaps, but you might as well face up to it.
Do you believe that you are a spirit with a body or just a brain?
eh? I am a body with consciousness. When I die, I'll just be a body.
Did the female anatomy ever mystify and scare you?
Mystify, yes. Scare? Not really, although I was terrified of women for many years
Have you ever been caught in a natural disaster?
caught, no. But I have stood on an erupting volcano.
Did you ever own Birkenstocks?
I'm not really a sandal man. They're sold by orthopedic shops in Austria, you know. They get fitted to your foot and everything. It's not a fashion thing.
Did you ever fall in love with an animal in a way where you wish you could talk like human friends?
No. I love animals for what they are. If my cat could talk, all she would say is things like "FOOD. FOOD. SHIT. OUTSIDE" and I suspect it would ruin things
Do you feel we are all potentially Christlike?
Hm. I'm not religious, but you have to admit that the world would be better if we were all a touch like JC. It's religion that's the problem, he was just a proto-hippie
Do you have hope for humanity?
No. The destroyers will always outnumber the creators.
If not, how can you keep going in the face of that hopelessness?
Do you really have a choice?
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