Be Excellent To Each Other.
Since I have not written about anything related to my personal life for quite some time, I'm sure you're aware that stuff happens. Big stuff. Little stuff. I'm not sure how much I should or could say. About four weeks ago, it was brought to my attention by my brothers partner that he has either been up to extremely distasteful stuff, and boasting openly about it and publically - or he has been lying about his actions. In any respect, he has been lying obviously about really big stuff. As a result, and as a result of his actions, and reactions, and his utter failure to act as an adult and apologise for his errors when presented with a large amount of irrefutable evidence, we have not spoken for the longest sustained period of our lives. I cannot forsee a time where we will do so in the future, unless he does something he has been incapable of doing in the past : learning from his mistakes, apologising for his immense errors and the hurt caused to many many people, and changing his ways. It is not my place to really say exactly what he has been guilty of, but it is - whilst not illegal - certainly very immoral and unethical, and yes, it involves major major infidelity in a sustained, deliberate, and callous way. To be honest, what he has done is very near to unforgivable, and also bonecrushingly stupid. We will see.
The only people who I want in my future are people who are going to be beneficial to the world and my role in it. I have no time for the kind of absolute shitness that he has committed. "Be Excellent To Each Other" is a good credo. "Be A Shit Human Being" isn't.
As we grow older, we cut out the people whose behaviours, and whose actions, do not improve the lives we and others live. I do not want to be in the lives of people whose actions take more happiness than they add. I was put on this planet - as best as I can make out - to try and look after the place as best I can and make it a better place in some way. I have succeeded. People who reduce the overall sum of happiness and health on this planet are the enemy of my morals, and will live lives surrounded by people who are equally morally bankrupt in the end. Blood may be thicker than water, but some of the blood in my family is really fucking thick. I will not tolerate known liars on this scale in my life. And he has had over 20 years of chances to not be that person, and failed in all of them. It started when he slept with my girlfriend at the age of 18, and it appears he has learnt nothing of how to behave or how to be a decent person since then.
I'm sure he will read this. To which, I address him clearly here : do not say a goddamn word unless you want me to be brutally honest about every single damn stupid thing you have done. I know everything. Even the stuff you think I don't. Unless you want to apologise and beg forgiveness - which is solely and only in my power alone to grant at this point - shut the fuck up and slink away as the dirty, lying, philandering thundercunt you are.
I have nothing to apologise for.
In other news, my oldest son, who is 9, is being moved out of the country. The whole relationship with his mother is often uneasy, on the grounds that no matter what I do, no matter how reasonable, is seen an attempt to control, and bully. Whereas all I really want is to be involved in decisions around his life and have a degree of say. For example, I don't think it unreasonable to express a view on his school, or their decision to impose religion on him at a formative age, or for me to wish to be informed of any major health issues, such as a trip to hospital. I have been informed recently that this is controlling behaviour. Well, I think The Court Of Common Sense may disagree. Nonetheless, I bite my lip on a multitude of things publically as generally, it may not help overall. But in my personal life, stuff is happening, as it always does, and it always will. Some good, some bad. You cut out the negative elements like the infected tissue they are, in order to keep your life and your soul healthy.
The future? Lets go there. Ever forward. Ever onward.